WHAT?!?!

October 10, 2017.  What a lousy day that was.

Let me back up one day.  I had been having shortness of breath and a bad tightness in my chest that day and I couldn’t understand what was happening.  I thought that maybe I was having a severe case of heart burn.  I took a couple of Tums and the seemed to help, for a while.  I told my wife Cindy about it and asked her if this is what a heart attack felt like.  She obviously did not find the humor in that and gave me the look.  The next day I got up to get ready for work and it was still there so I mentioned it to her again and she suggested that I go to my doctors office  and have it checked out.  As I was getting ready something in me told me that I should got to the ER at the hospital.  I went in to work for a half day then went to the hospital around lunch time.

Here’s a little tip.  If you go into an ER and tell them that you have shortness of breath and tightness in your chest, well, there is no waiting around for you.  I go wheeled in there right away.  They took off my shoes and sock, rolled up my pant legs and did an EKG on me before my rear hit the bed.  Blood pressure, pulse x-rays, the works all in about 40 seconds.  As soon as the room was full of people in scrubs, I was suddenly left alone.  I texted Cindy and asked her to call me when she got a break from work.  I hadn’t contacted any of my siblings because I didn’t have anything to tell them and thought, why worry them when I don’t even know.

That changed rather quickly.

A doctor came in and said that the x-ray they took showed a “mass” in my lungs.  They were going to run a few more tests but were sure it was cancer.  WHAT?!?  The only thing  that ran through my head was that cancer was not prominent in my family.  In fact, I didn’t know anyone other then my Aunt Sally in my family that had cancer, and she had it cause she smoked four packs of cigarettes a day.  It had to be a mistake.  Then Cindy called.  “How am I going to tell her this?”  All I said was that I was in the ER and the she was to come after school.  The next few hours were a blur.  I remember telling Cindy not to call my parents because they weren’t sure yet what I exactly had.  Plus they were out of town.  She did text my sisters, and that brought in the Cavalry.  Our friend Kelly was called and I had my team assembled.  Whatever this was, I had my powerhouse behind me and nothing would get to us.  Of course once they were there, my wish to not tell my parents was quickly ignored and they came homeroom their trip.  No matter what, I will always be their little brother.  No matter how old I am.

The bomb fell on us the next day.

“Dr. Bedside Manner”, that is how I will ever to him came into my room and asked where my family was.  I told him that my wife was walking my parents down to their car.  “Call her and get them back now.”  and he walked away.  He came back in about five minutes later with Cindy by my side.  The next words still haunt me…”you have cancer.”  WHAT?!?!  The follow up was beautiful, he asked if he was being to blunt.  I said yes and asked him to leave the room.

Cindy came over and sat on the bed with me and we just held each other.  Not a word was said.  We didn’t even cry, well, not a lot like we probably should have.  We just sat quietly and held each other for about 15 minutes.  Finally, she pulled her self way for me and looked me right in the eye and said, “you’re going to beat this.”  Looking back on it now, that moment wasn’t a request from an upset wife or anything like that.  I honestly felt that it was at that time she was giving me her strength and any other extra powers I would need to come out the other side healthy and strong.  More about Cindy later, but briefly, I met her in high school my sophomore year.  She was a senior.  For some reason, she agreed to go out with me and she was my first  true love.  It took me almost 30 years later to find her again, and again for some reason unclear to me, she agreed to go out with me again.  That was six years ago.  Three years ago she agreed to marry me!  I truly am a lucky man.

My sisters came in sometime late, then Kelly.  A decision was made that I was going to go to the James Cancer Center in Columbus.  OK, I thought.  What ever they told me to do I was going to do.  Cindy and Kelly found a doctor that specializes in Gastrointestinal cancer.  The stage was set.

More later.  Thanks for reading.  Paul