October 10th, was one year to the date that I was diagnosed with lung cancer. So many things have changed, and honestly much more of the change has been positive instead of negative.  I still am shocked by the amount of support and love I’ve received via everything from cards to texts and emails.  Many of these were from people that I have never met before, but because they know my parents or another member of my family, they took the time to reach out to me wishing me well.  I have plenty of beautiful handmade quilts and blankets to keep me warm in the winter, or when the chemo takes a strong hold on me and even if its 80 degrees outside, I would be freezing under as many blankets I could find.  Thankfully that feeling hasn’t happened for a long time.  Of course, a major positive has been the weight loss I’ve experienced.  Roughly 45 pounds.  It’s nice to get new jeans a size or two smaller, although it is a crash diet that I highly do not recommend. My family and close friends have been most important in my recovery. C.J. and Charlie who will call or text me at least every other day to simply ask “how are you?”  C.J. who called me out when I confessed I’d been holding back on some information because I didn’t want to burden him with my concerns, calls me and says that he is with me every step of the process and that if I needed him, all I’d have to do is call and he’d be on my front doorstep in no time at all.  Charlie who does his best to make me laugh with humor that only he and I understand.  My two “unofficial” brothers. Kelly and Midge.  My little sis and Grammie.  If it weren’t for Kelly keeping a sound mind when all around her were losing theirs, I don’t think we’d been able to think of James Center.  I am always thankful that ever since Cindy and I broke up dating in high school, we were able to have joint custody of Kelly as our friend.  We’ve certainly had our share of sad songs, sad times…but a heck of a lot more laughs!  Whoever would have thought that an 89-year-old woman would wind up being one of your best friends and biggest supporter in you finding happiness in your life.  That is Midge.  We met through our dogs and one of my fondest friendships came from that chance meeting.  We’ve shared and laughed and cried together.  She told me about the love of her life that was taken away far too soon and she met the love of my life and couldn’t have been happier for the both of us. It’s said that a family emergency brings those members closer together.  Being diagnosed with cancer certainly has for mine.  Diane, Barb, Linda and John.  Whether its a call, text, visit or even a card in the mail, your love and encouragement has meant more to me then you all will ever know.  No one has ever come to me with a frown on their face.  Always a smile and positive words.  Always telling me that I’m (we’re) going to beat the crap out of this God awful disease.  I love you four very much! My Mom and Dad are incredible.  There have been times that I’ve gone over to their house in a bad mood because of news or just tired of feeling tired all the time and I know I can prattle on about my feelings, I’m sure at times making no sense at ll, and I can always get a hug or a kiss or a “love tap” on my cheek from Dad and I feel better.  I will feel guilty sometimes about going to them because they’ve been through so much I feel as though I’m pilling on.  Yet they will tell me that its not the case.   They want to know how I’m doing and feeling, both the good and the bad.  I’ve been lucky enough to have been raised in a household that taught strong religious beliefs.  I’ve never had a doubt that there is a God and there is a Heaven and that when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior that we are assured our place in eternity, and that I will see my girls again.  That is, I think, the greatest gift to install in your children and I can not thank my Mom and dad enough for that. Finally my rock and my minions.  Cindy, Erica and Alli. I know I will beat this no matter how long it takes.  God has given me a second chance in life after all the crap I’ve been through by leading me to the love of my life, again.  (Remember, we dated in high school).    I can vividly remember sitting in silence on my hospital bed holding each other after I kicked the doctor and nurses out of my room for a good ten minutes.  Not a word was said to each other until we pulled apart from each other and with teas down her cheeks, she said, “you’re going to beat this!”  It wasn’t a question but rather a statement of inevitable fact.  Then she added with, “we will do this together.”  I used to tell people that I always thought my mother was the strongest woman in the world, but truth be told, my beautiful wife is giving her a very good run for the title.  I love you sweetness.  Always and forever!!!  I know I’m staying around for a long time because I have a wedding to attend this June when I get to give the bride away.  This is something after Tess passed that I thought I would never be able to do, but Alli has asked me and I told her that I would be honored to do so or whatever she wanted me to do.  Just be warned that I will cry like a little girl.  We just finished a visit with Erica as she came home from Florida.  I love the times we have together talking about whatever is on our minds.  Somehow it usually opens up into more deeper issues and that’s just fine with me.  I’ve always appreciated the ease I have wither her sharing about my past.  Telling her about my girls, and always reassuring her that I’m doing fine.  I especially appreciate it when she will ask for my opinion about something, again, because these were conversations I never thought I would have with my daughter, but both of these two beautiful ladies make me feel like a father, or a “father figure” again, and  I love them both as if they were my own. So that’s it for now.  Sorry, I got a little more serious then what I usually do but after one year I thought it was good to reflect.  I’ll try not to make it so long in between this time and the next post. As always, thank you for reading. Paul