It was 24 years ago yesterday that I stood frozen in a doorway at MCO Hospital Pediatrics Intensive Care unit and watched you being held in your mother’s arms.  With great precision, the nursing staff had lifted you out of your crib, wheeled it out, put a recliner in its place for your mom to sit, and put you gently in her arms.  All the while still hooked to your IVs and other machines that were going to be shut off by Karen, our nurse, once they went off.  Everyone knew what was about to happen.  You had fought so hard during your short life of three years and one month to the day, but it was time.

Your Mom and I told you that we knew you were tired and that while we will be very sad, it was ok your you to go.

Katherine “Katie” Ann Whitson was born on January 2, 1992, in Bryan, Ohio. Katherine was in honor of her maternal great grandmother, and Ann was for her paternal great grandmother.  Ann is my mother’s middle name.  She came in at a good eight pounds, eight ounces and was no doubt, my child.  With all the problems she had, she was doubly doomed because she had my high forehead and double chin.  I think it was my father who said, “it looks like they shrunk Paul and turned him into a girl.”  Something like that?    Anyway, the doctors knew something was not right with Katie and after a day, they determined that it was best for her to be transported to MCO inToledo.  Nobody was really telling us anything and even if they did, we wouldn’t have remembered.  We went into a state of shock.

Once there it was determined that Katie had something called ‘hypo-plastic left heart syndrome.’  Simply put, her lower left ventricle to her heart did not develop so her right side was almost twice the size it should have been.  I can remember seeing pictured that they took of her heart and noticing the underdeveloped ventricle, and thinking to myself, they can just go in and stretch it back into shape.  I know…foolish.  When Kaie was one week old, she had her first of what would be three, open heart surgeries.  The doctors told us that her heart was roughly the size of a prune.  We prayed for the best but were expecting the worse, Actually, that is not entirely true.  Two things stick out for me that day.  I do remember having a surreal calm over me.  Later, I would realize that it was God being with me letting me know that everything was going to be ok.  The other was when Dr. Wilson came into telling us that the surgery had been successful and I grabbed him up and hugged him.  I was told that the look on Dr. Wilson’s face was priceless.

After nearly three months, lots of ups and downs and test after test after test, we were finally allowed to take Katie home.  We were beyond happy but soon realized our battle was just beginning.  Regular pediatric doctor visits, specialists, physical therapy.  Trips to Toledo and back, it just went on and on.  Looking back on it all, I still don’t know how we got through it.  Automatic drive for the next three years.  Since your second surgery went so well, home after just nine days in the hospital, we were going to be home free after the third and final one.

Wrong.

We never got a real explanation as to what happened to you, but something went wrong.  The doctors talked to us but we couldn’t understand.  They said that they were sorry.  Dr. Wilson was very upset.  I remember him sitting on a stool by himself outside your room with his head in his hands.  So after talking with him and taking into full account the situation, we said goodbye.  We drove home back to Bryan.  Grandma and Grandpa went home to get Tess and bring her to us.  The only other thing I can remember about that day was once we got home, Aunt Diane came over and cried with us.

When I was on the radio, I always played my last song and dedicated it to you.  The soundtrack from the movie Beaches came out and Bette Midler’s version of Baby Mine hit home with me.  t was advise from a parent to their child about how the world can be hard and cold, but no matter what, you were always loved.  Check it out on Youtube.

On her stone is a scripture, Hebrews 13;2;  “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

That was my Katie.  She was and is my angel!