I have to admit to something before I start my story.  Some of you who know me may not have known this and there are others who will say, “tell us something we don’t know.”  I am a cynic.  I will say that I’ve gotten better at  controlling my levels of cynicism over the years.  This, I think, comes from being beat up by life over a long period of time.  Two daughters passing away, a divorce and long term feelings of inadequacy .  Oh yeah, let us not forget cancer.

A good amount of this feeling has gone away over the last six years.  Getting to fall in love with my first serious high school girlfriend and marrying her and being a father figure to her two daughters is one of the greatest gifts I’ll ever have.  Still, it takes a lot for me to be able to look at someone and truly believe that this is a good and genuine person who doesn’t have hidden or ulterior motives for their actions.

This brings me to yesterday.

I was at the James Cancer Center in Columbus getting my three week check up and infusion.  While I was sitting in my cubicle with the IV’s running into my arm and trying to decide what to watch on TV to help make the time go by, I heard a noise outside my curtain.  It was one of the nurses and she had three ladies following closely behind.  The nurse explained to me that these three friends had lost a close friend of theirs three years ago to cancer and they wanted to do something in her memory.  I looked at the three ladies, who were roughly my age.  One was smiling, one was not looking at me and there third was looking at me but her face was red from trying to hold back the tidal wave of tears that were going to flow at any minute.  I searched my brain quickly for aline to keep her from crying and all I could come up with was, “there’s no crying allowed in this room.”  Not my best but for some reason it worked.

The one that was smiling when she first walked in handed me a tote bag with a design of the American flag on it.  They had filled all of them with goodies for each patient they came across.  Mine had a throw blanket, a travel coffee mug with “Have Birthday cake for Breakfast,” printed on the side.  I liked that advise.  A journal, word search, colored pencils, hand sanitizer, tissues and all sorts of candies and much more.  They told me that they wanted to pay it forward in their friends memory to help out people like me to make our time at the center a little more comfortable and tolerable.  I thanked them over and over again for this surprise, and expressed my regrets for losing their friend.  When they left for the next cubicle, all were smiling and laughing a bit and the tears were not going to fall.

The length of the stay from beginning to end was no more then five minutes, but it was one of the most genuine, selfless and loving five minutes I think I have ever witnessed.  They were taking the memory of their friend and paying it forward trying to make others feel loved.  The more I thought about it I was the one trying not to cry.  A nurse told me later that they do this at all the hospitals in Columbus with an Oncology Department.  Amazing.

This has made me think about what I can do to make things better for someone else out there.  To “pay it forward.”  It can be as simple as saying good morning to the person next to you in an elevator.  Buying a coffee for the next guy in line at Speedway.  Holding the door open for a stranger, whatever.  It’s not just good manners, its paying it forward.  And if you do it without expecting anything in return other then a smile and a thank you….well, job well done.

All for now.  Thanks for reading.  Paul